Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
