i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
