Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
