I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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