I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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