watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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