In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
