Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
