My brain says no but my pants say off.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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