i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
