think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
