Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They are going to name an STD after you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
