Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Enjoy the penises
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
