You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize