sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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