Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
