why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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