so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
