Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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