Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize