You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
