is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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