You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
