Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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