literally had 100 drinks last night.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
