I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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