Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
