Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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