The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This is my gift to your gina
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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