My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
