Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know her cup size but not her name....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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