All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
