Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
