I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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