My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
