nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
