walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
