I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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