I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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