Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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