worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
