I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
