you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
