How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's blow job season.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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