My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
