So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
