Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
