i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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