his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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