Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
