Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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