Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
