The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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