girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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