Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
