My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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