He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
