i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
