I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
