And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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