those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
