where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just gargled with NyQuil
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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