So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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