I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
