all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
